Hey Guilty Moms: Follow Our Lead
Posted on 02. Jun, 2010 by Brian Reid.
Working Mother knows their demographic, so it’s not surprising that they just published an in-depth piece on mommy guilt and what to do about it. That story really isn’t all that interesting. What *is* interesting is a brief sidebar in which they explore a much more important question: why is it that dads don’t seem to have the same problems?
The answers are worth a look. The piece posits that dads are better at naming their feelings (they can be angry or annoyed or whatever without lumping every negative feeling into the “guilt” bucket), which seems like it might be a bit of a stretch. But then it goes on to hit the sweet spot: expectations for dads are less (in part because the historical standard is so low). This is exactly right. What is missing — what I would love to see — is the conclusion to that argument. Not only are standards for dads *lower*, but those lower standards are *better* ones by which we should be judging all parents.
I don’t know where the parental one-upsmanship started (I suspect it may have been a hyper-competitive holiday cookie exchange), but it is my fervent hope that dads will lead the charge toward a saner set of expectations for everyone.
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Odds and Ends (and Turnabout)
Posted on 21. May, 2010 by Brian Reid.
Another good week in dad-land. Among the stuff I didn’t have the chance to fully digest:
- The New York Times said nice things about the new Geek Dad book, including noting that was good stuff for “fathers (and mothers).” Putting moms in parens did not still well with the NYT readers, who proceeded to hijack the comments to complain about how in appropriate it was to assume that a book like this might only be applicable to the male half of the parenting universe. Fortunately, this never happens in reverse. I can’t think of a time when dads have been unintentionally left out of *any* parenting conversation. (Via Daddy Types.)
- The NYC Dads Group is now at 200 members. So if you’re an NYC AHD are aren’t hanging out with Lance and his crew, I have only to ask: why not?
- Need more a fix of Joel, from Parenthood. Check out the SFChron’s interview with Sam Jaeger, the guy who plays the role.
- The next great trend in travel marketing: targeting dads for man-cations.
- Nice inspirational story about a guy named Brian Price who became a stay-at-home dad when one of his twins was diagnosed with leukemia.
Have a great weekend …
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George Lopez on SAHDs: ‘Your Ass is Unemployed’
Posted on 20. May, 2010 by Brian Reid.
OK. We knew that George Lopez was a moron when it came to stay-at-home dads (back in November, he made fun of Todd Palin — who, for starters, is not an at-home dad — for being a SAHD and a “bum”). But it’s apparently become a standard part of his shtick. If you don’t need to hear him go after Sarah Palin, you can skip to the 2:15 mark:
I want to have a sense of humor about these things, but I really don’t see how mocking a guy who is raising his kid is all that funny. George seems to assume that childrearing is all about slicing apples, which suggests that he knows jack about what goes into being an at-home parent.
There is also the stench of sexism there, too. If Lopez were going around calling at-home moms “unemployed” and “bums,” you’d have a riot on your hands (and for good reason). But I don’t think that Lopez pulls his punches when it comes to parkgoing, apple-slicing moms because he’s afraid of the repercussions. I assume he doesn’t make at-home moms jokes because he doesn’t seem anything unusual about moms making that choice. Or, to put it bluntly, he seems to be implying that women belong in the kitchen and men belong “employed.”
Not funny, George. Not funny at all.