PR, Daddyblogging and the Long Road to Equity
Posted on 14. Apr, 2010 by Brian Reid in blogging, gender equity
A bunch of people have asked me what I think of Caleb Gardner’s post at the Edelman Digital blog last week on the topic of daddyblogging. In the post, Caleb makes a spirited defense of fathers — and fathers who blog — as a real, important and emerging force that public relations and marketing types should not overlook. He goes so far as to suggest this will be “The Year of the Daddy.” The reaction in the comments is uplifting and nearly unanimous: dads are thrilled to get some credit.
This is a big deal. Edelman is no second-tier PR shop. They are big, smart and forward-looking, and there’s no doubt that Caleb’s piece will be looked back on as a signpost marking the point at which it was officially declared that dads are excellent targets for corporate America.
And therein lies the rub. Dadbloggers are increasingly being targeted by marketing and PR folks, to the point that I’m spending a growing part of my day deleting e-mails from people I’ve never heard of, pitching me all manner of products that I’d never use and will never write about. And I’m a small fish in this pond. I can only imagine how much e-mail deleting goes on at GeekDad or DadLabs. Let me be clear: I don’t think these pitches are intrinsically bad or that the idea of targeting dads is not a sound strategy. But sending me an e-mail letting me know about a product or a company costs nothing, and it doesn’t change the reality on the ground: that dads are still not thought of as primary caretakers.
When I have a news week like we’ve had this week — with AT&T poking fun at fathers and Babble going to a single-gender focus — it’s a reminder that just because a PR firm has some dads on its pitch list (or even a dedicated dad project), doesn’t mean that we’re in “The Year of the Dad.” If companies were actually serious about targeting fathers, they’d be less likely to advertise with Babble. They’d be less likely to portray iPhone-toting guys as incompetent parents. They’d be less likely to assume that diaper-club members are automatically moms. Heck, even Jif — which made the single most encouraging (for dads) TV commercial of the last decade — is back to mom-centrism (“Choosy Moms Choose Jif,” says the website).
So even though PR pros now see dads as consumers worth spamming, I haven’t seen the corporate culture (or the culture in general) change so radically that I’m ready to suggest we’re anywhere near “The Year of the Dad.” But I am always prepared to be pleasantly surprised, so let me know when dish detergent commercials start including folks with facial hair and Parenting starts reviewing men’s razors.
(Full, ironic disclosure: In my other life, I do PR. I have even pitched dads in a limited and — I hope — thoughtful way. In general, they are dads I know and who I have read for years. I’m not sure that’s exactly industry standard.)
(UPDATE: It strikes me that if you’re in marketing and want to show a commitment to fatherhood, you should click on over to the At-Home Dad Convention and help sponsor that event. That would be a step in the right direction. I’m happy to make introductions.)
Dad is in the House
14. Apr, 2010
Agreed on all points. I was telling one of the other dads that I haven’t yet had the problem of being pitched
But coincidentally with the attention, there seem to be some daddy wars starting up, ever so slightly. I hope we don’t go down this path, because there aren’t enough of us to get into that.
Brian Reid
14. Apr, 2010
I don’t think being pitched is a good thing. It immediately implies that we’re all running commercial enterprises here, which isn’t universally true. So enjoy your innocence.
I rarely blog about blogging (or mommyblogging) because there is so much pointless vitriol there. You want to write about the experience about being a parent because you love to write and love being a parent? Go for it. Everything else is meaningless drama.
And — finally — I have to make a plug for my definition of daddy wars (between dads and their employers). I’m not down with dad-on-dad conflict. Can’t we all just get along? …
Caleb Gardner
14. Apr, 2010
I can’t understate how much I love this post, Brian. I couldn’t agree more that dads are about to get all kinds of spammy PR pitches. And I’m sad about that, because I know it’s somewhat insulting and does nothing to move the conversation forward about the role of dads as equal parents. (And I’m also sad how many companies seem to have taken steps backwards, as you’ve pointed out.)
What I’m hoping is that this is the first (somewhat clueless) wave of reaching out to the dad community, which hopefully will be followed by more thoughtful reaching out by smarter PR firms. That’s what we’re advocating for at least.
Thanks so much for adding your thoughts to this much needed conversation.
Brian Reid
14. Apr, 2010
Caleb — And I can’t understate how much I enjoyed your post, and I hope my cynicism doesn’t reflect poorly on you. This is a great discussion to be having.
My issue isn’t actually with including dads in the conversation. It’s the idea that we should be engaging in some self-congratulatory behavior when the reality is that we’ve only just reached the starting line, not the finish line, when it comes to gender equity in the marketplace.
Look forward to continuing the dialogue.
Caleb Gardner
14. Apr, 2010
Absolutely. And to be honest, we shouldn’t be engaging in self-congratulatory behavior because (a) there are still a lot of guys out there not acting like the best fathers in the world, and (b) there are still a lot of gender inequalities in our favor elsewhere, like in the workplace. These were both stinging but important reminders I received in the comments over on the original post.
But I think these two things will hopefully allow us to approach this subject from a more humble place.
Dad is in the House
14. Apr, 2010
Caleb, I’m not sure there are any gender inequalities working in favor of dads in the workplace any more. That’s what I was taught in school, and it’s the received wisdom. It certainly has not been my experience or the experience of my peer group-even those in traditional careers. I think we’re paying for the sins of our fathers, frankly. And the recession statistics (the recession being a bit of a tipping point for the SAHD movement) certainly give one pause for thought.
I’m sure you’re aware of these kinds of issues: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/14/business/economy/14charts.html
In my world, Dads with kids work like dogs-either at home or at work, or, as I’ve done plenty, both. We have some stereotypes out there that are flat out vicious, and we take it on the chin. We don’t have a ton of options socially, but you’re a man, you don’t complain.
True there are some losers out there, as there are some bad moms. And perhaps the numbers of loser dads is larger, I don’t know the demographics. But when someone like Joy Behar can get on television and say what she did about SAHDs and still keep her job, something is wrong in our popular culture. THAT shows not anything working in favor of the male gender.
All this is why I’m totally against any sort of daddy wars, the cards are stacked against SAHDs, at least for now. We don’t have the luxury, frankly, of being self congratulatory. We have to do this job well, and then it’ll work out.
Dad is in the House
14. Apr, 2010
BTW Daddy Wars in my definitions, above, would = dad on dad conflict. Not RD’s kind.
Matt Blum
14. Apr, 2010
Oh, yes, we at GeekDad get a ton of PR emails. My favorites are the ones I get about new kinds of liquor (just the thing for a family blog!), and, bizarrely, about sheet metal.
It’s a double-edged sword, I suppose. We find out about all sorts of cool things that are of genuine interest to us, but we have to sift through a ton of chaff.
Cali Williams Yost
14. Apr, 2010
Hi guys, I hope you don’t mind if I pop in here but I wanted to say a huge THANK YOU! for engaging in this very important conversation.
I am a work+life fit and flexibility expert with more than 15 years of experience in the field. I also happen to be a woman and a mother, but I very much believe the issue of flexibly managing our work and our responsibilities outside of work is absolutely about everyone-men and women.
In fact, I find in my experience that men are more often than not overlooked and excluded either overtly or inadvertently from the discussion inside and outside of organizations with which I’ve worked.
This MUST stop, not only because the research shows that men are reporting greater difficulties managing their work+life fit than women (and the women aren’t doing so well either), but also the intense, inaccurate mothers-only focus is actually hurting women by reinforcing an outdated mommy-penalty that hurts the earning power and advancement opportunities of women.
These are the same women who are increasingly equal if not primary breadwinners in many families. Part of the problem is the mainstream media wants sponsor ad dollars and advertisers are convinced that moms control the pursue strings. It’s a vicious cycle that can only be broken when brave next-gen fathers like you stand up and say, “No, this is reality. We are involved as much as the moms in our families” It isn’t easy but please know that there is one very grateful work+life fit and flexibility expert cheering you on.
It’s going to take all of us-dads, moms, elder caregivers, working retirees-working together to challenge the inflexible, outdated status quo that limits and hurts all of us. You might be interested in my blog post from today on this subject “Time to Lose Limiting Labels” http://bit.ly/baq6ZU
Okay, enough from me. Keep going!
Best,
Cali Williams Yost
SAHD PDX
14. Apr, 2010
This is an interesting discussion about being taken serious in an industry of blogging but does that mean we want it to look like an inbox full of pitches. I think that you are right in saying that if they were really serious the tone of the ads would be changing but that doesn’t play. Helpless dad plays just like dumb blond plays, that isn’t changing anytime soon.
Jack
18. Apr, 2010
just wanted to let you know that we are going to include this in the upcoming edition of Festival of The Fathers.
Ben
18. Apr, 2010
I had no idea there were so many daddy bloggers!
I’ve not yet been pitched anything - when I do will it be an indication that I’ve firmly arrived on the dad blog scene?!
Get Ready Dad
20. Apr, 2010
Ben, I was thinking the same thing - but I am new on this scene!