Desperate Househusbands Hit Prime Time
Posted on 07. Apr, 2010 by Brian Reid in at-home dads, television
Once upon a time, I used to be able to watch enough TV that nothing in the dad-o-sphere slipped by me. The kiddies were tucked in their beds way before prime time kicked in. Nowadays, not so much, so I missed the latest at-home dad to jump into the boob tube: Parenthood’s “Joel Graham“.
(I should say one thing up front: I haven’t seen the show, so I am basing my opinion totally off of Wikipedia and the show’s website. So, loyal TV-watchers, if I make egregious errors of fact or float opinions that are utterly unsupportable, let me know and I’ll back down. But from what I understand, I’m on pretty safe ground here.)
First, the good news: as far as I can tell, screenwriters have now gotten past the idea that dads who stay home are just off-the-charts, bumbling failures as parents. This is a major victory, and the fact that an at-home dad, cast in a comedy (update: commenter Mer notes that this is technically a drama, per NBC), can be portrayed as anything other than clueless is a great victory for at-home dads and fathers in general. Maybe even a bigger victory than Daddy Day Care. But I digress. (Also: the bad-news flip side of this is that from what I can tell, the go-to-work mom fits the cold-hearted, career-woman stereotype. Which is really unfortunate. Also: is Erika Christensen old enough to credibly play a TV mom? But I digress, again …)
Anyway, the major plot point with SAHD Joel is the sexual tension with the local “supermom” (and the ensuing spousal tension). This is not an entirely new concept; Little Children (both the perfectly good book and the even-better movie) was centered around the endless possibilities you create when you set a hot dad on a mom-dominated playground. The issue I had with Little Children (and, therefore, Joel) is that as appealing as the idea is, I’ve yet to meet an at-home dad who has come anywhere close to being propositioned (or even flirted with) by *anyone*, let alone a Kate Winslett or an Erinn Hayes.
So while I appreciate the shift in popular culture from dads-as-morons to dads-as-sex-objects, I’m not sure that Parenthood is going to make the cut when I finally get TiVo (this summer, perhaps). In fact, I’m kind of rooting for the show to fail (which may not be wholly unlikely) because — if Desperate Housewives has taught us anything — Joel will eventually cheat or end up in an otherwise compromising position, and at-home dads just don’t need that silly stereotype reinforced. It’s taken the better part of half a century to get the whole incompetent-parent thing behind us. I’m not sure I’m ready for another battle.
Lisa Duggan
07. Apr, 2010
(I haven’t watched the show either, so the same disclaimers apply.)
But I haven’t watched the show because, based on my observation of the ads & previews, I see white-only families.
I happen to be friends with five SAHD’s; sexual tension with some SAHM is the last thing they have to worry about — mostly because, on a whole, they don’t care to socialize or ‘playdate’ much, or, they have been excluded from local playgroups because they are men.
And secondly, because they are sleep-deprived, covered in spit-up, and too damn busy feeding, ferrying and taking care of their kids to be in the mood for sex!
Chris / Wrath66
07. Apr, 2010
I’ve watched less than half of the hilarious (sarcasm) “The Whole Family Smokes Pot Together After the Grade School Show” Episode. It was not good. I don’t know which one is the SAHD, but no one was good in the scene which in and of itself, was ridiculously, cloyingly, “Gen-X slacker children turned surprisingly happy and well-adjusted children of ex-hippies turned raging Capitalists” terrible. (Not that I have anything against either of those two groups. Groups represented by myself and my parents respectively.)
As for Desperate SAHDism I have no opinion. Just had to rant re: Parenthood.
Modern Family, on the other hand, is brilliant and genuinely LOL funny. FWIW.
Mer
07. Apr, 2010
I don’t see Parenthood as a comedy at all. Is it considered a comedic drama? It hit home for me with the special needs child and the SAHD (bc I am a SAHM) but, I honestly like the show. I think mostly it is hard hitting. I see Modern Family as the funny version of Parenthood.
I think the working mom in that family fills the position of any “working parent,” with sex not important. This show definitely hits home and is a soap opera for sure (since everything happens to this family, and probably will more so than the general population IRL. )
Brian Reid
07. Apr, 2010
Mer -
Fair comment (I’ll fix the post). NBC calls the show a “drama.” Wikipedia calls it a “comedy-drama.” It is unquestionably inspired by the quite-good 1989 film, which certainly has a comic edge.
Therefore, I am not as certain about the death of the dumb-dad stereotype. But I’m still worried that the illusory allure of glamor and cheap sex will begin drawing millions of men into at-home fatherhood, only to have them terribly disappointed.
Greg
08. Apr, 2010
Fantastic blog Brian! I’m happy to have found it. I’m also happy I became a Rebel Dad after the media stereotypes shifted from incompetent dad to playground stud. I can live with this!
Nick
08. Apr, 2010
Hey Brian,
Great post. I’m not a dad yet but the gender walls are definitely eroding. I watched for a season and a half and just couldn’t do it anymore.
I also noticed that you had a lens on Squidoo. I just started re-investing in Squidoo and have seen some good results, including driving traffic to my blog. Have you thought about re-investing in Squidoo to increase awareness to this blog?
Chris (@tessasdad)
10. Apr, 2010
Good post. Although I haven’t seen it yet, I’m heard similar things from other dads.
Can you add my stay-at-home dad blog when you get a chance?
Stay at Home Dad in Lansing (http://sahdinlansing.com)
Thanks
paul
12. Apr, 2010
I watch the show and it is getting better with each episode. For the most part, the show’s plot lines are pretty real. I know people who have had similar issues as the ones on the show, so it’s a pretty honest look.
Obviously, the SAHD plot line about flirting between two parents is horsefeathers, but I am hoping that it doesn’t stick around long. (It supposedly got resolved last week, I am hoping it stays that way.) What I like about the SAHD on the show is that he is a really good dad, and completely on top of things around the house. How often is that the case?
Don’t give up on the show just yet…