Negotiations and Love Songs (Mostly Negotiations)

Posted on 08. Mar, 2010 by Brian in daddy wars, paternity leave, work-like balance, workplace

Last week, I published a post about the importance of negotiations in winning the “daddy wars” between fathers and their employers. But the link I provided, as inspiring as it was, didn’t actually give much solid insight into how, exactly, dads are supposed to Fight! For Your Right! To Faaaaaaather! (Apologies to Mike D, MCA and Ad-Rock)

So it was fortuitious that I saw this tweet by Kristin Maschka on WorkOptions.com’s Max Maternity Leave guidelines. This is a really smart and straightforward how-to for moms-to-be who are interested in having a baby and taking leave without blowing up a career. And while following this advice certainly doesn’t ensure that the maternal wall will be torn down, it’s certainly a start.

Now, the issue of guys taking paternity leave is fraught with issues that are different but just as tricky to navigate (if not more so). In a world of infinite time, I’d love to screw together this kind of resource for the guys, so that men who wanted to take full advantage of paternity leave could do so. My experience with leave was ultimately positive (and life-changing), but getting my employer to understand what the hell I was doing was far more complicated and dispiriting than I had expected.

If you have any tips on this, let me know in the comments …

2 Responses to “Negotiations and Love Songs (Mostly Negotiations)”

  1. Nathan

    09. Mar, 2010

    I am of no practical help here, but as an American dad on nine months of paid parental leave in Sweden, these kinds of posts just highlight how good I have it (I knew this already, because we spent the first year of my older kids life in the US, where I did take 12 unpaid weeks but still worked long, long hours in an isolated little town).

    I know this point gets made plenty here too, but I can’t believe the time and energy people go to to make this cockeyed system work. If we just put some of that energy into pressuring for bigger change …. well, I’ll stop now.

    But, from Sweden, I can just encourage every dad to fight for some kind of time off. Totally worth it.

  2. Pat Katepoo

    12. Mar, 2010

    Brian, Thanks for the mention of my Max Maternity Leave Proposal Template & Negotiation Guide. There are a few places where dads can adapt its content. Otherwise, I have a few tactics in a paternity leave article, including a sample scripted pitch to the boss. Find it here:

    http://workoptions.com/paternity-leave-FMLA.htm

Leave a Reply