Negotiations and the Daddy Wars
Posted on 03. Mar, 2010 by Brian Reid in daddy wars, work-like balance, workplace
One of my most fundamental beliefs is that we’re coming ever-closer to widespread “daddy wars.” Unlike the mommy wars, which is a media-created fiction in which go-to-work moms and at-home moms are engaged in some sort of rivalry, the daddy wars reflects the growing conflict between fathers and their employers on the exact contours of work-family balance. The old model in which dad trucks off to work for 8 or 10 or 12 hours, then comes home and sits in the recliner is long gone. Today’s dads want to have it all, and — increasingly — they’re going to be asking their bosses to give it to them. That’s instant conflict. Maybe even a cold war.
But it doesn’t have to been a shooting war. The Australian site, dadsclub.au, ran a nice piece on why negotiation is so important in making sure that employers understand how important family time is. Of course, proactively talking about work-life balance isn’t instantly going to change a century-plus of misplaced expectations, but it’s a good start. (Thanks to Marc at Equally Shared Parenting for the link.)
Interestingly, the whole daddy wars topic has quieted down. It was really hip three or four years ago, when people started wondering if the growing number of at-home dads would somehow get dads to snipe at one another, but I haven’t heard that much lately. Right now, the biggest dad-inspired parenting battle is over whether it’s a good idea to take your kid out to the bars …
5 Responses to “Negotiations and the Daddy Wars”
Trackbacks/Pingbacks
-
-
08. Mar, 2010
[...] week, I published a post about the importance of negotiations in winning the “daddy wars” between fathers and their employers. But the link I [...]
Jon Prial
03. Mar, 2010
Great post. Too many just naturally default to the thought that work-life issues belong to the working mom. Work-life issues cross genders and even go beyond raising children as eldercare becomes an ever greater challenge for many.
Kristin Maschka
03. Mar, 2010
Great post! Totally agree that this is a growing issue that the media - unsurprisingly - tends to either oversimplify or gloss over entirely. Increasingly, organizations are going to lose good men and women if they can’t figure this out.
Pat Campbell
05. Mar, 2010
It is very interesting to find Dads becoming more and more engaged in parenting. I mean that in a good way.That Dads are wanting to be there for their newborns’ first steps, for bath time, for bedtime routines and play.
I have two sons, one is absolutely in love with his 12 month daughter. It ripped his heart out those first mornings he had to take her to the babysitter. (thank goodness, it is not fulltime daycare)
You bet, this young dad is looking for entrepreneurial ways in the future to be home more.
My second son is expecting his first child. He is talking about a granny flat, creating a second stream of income in the hopes that one day his time can be dedicated to childcare more than to his boss.
Very interesting blog, glad to come upon it.
Suncadia Dad
06. Mar, 2010
We moved to a new city when my wife started her pediatric residency. With her impending hours and inflexible schedule, it was absolutely necessary that I find a job with explicit work/life balance. I *HAD* to dropoff and pickup kids at daycare. It was part of *my* interview process to find a company and position that would support this. I work for a small online marketing firm for 4 years now which has allowed me the flexibility I needed.