NPR’s Half-Hearted Look at Re-Entering the Workforce
Posted on 25. Mar, 2010 by Brian Reid.
Yesterday, NPR took a look at at-home dads, and they started the in the usual, easy, formulaic way: at an at-home dad playgroup (in this case, one of the ones in my old stomping ground). And then the piece pivots to talk about a big and important issue: how dads get back into the workforce after taking time out with the kids.
Unfortunately, the piece doesn’t really go there. There are a lot of different ways to look at this. Some dads are conflicted about the prospect of going back to work at all. Some dads are garden-variety out-of-work men who have taken on the childcare duties as a cost-saving effort. And some at-home dads are home by choice (but still plan to re-enter the workforce later) and some have been forced into the position. Each of these guys have a different attitude toward going back.
In addition, the issues involved here are gender-neutral. This topic has filled reams and reams of writing of academics and social scientists when it comes to moms, and it’s a shame that none of that information filtered its way into this piece. Sure, it’s new that dads are facing this challenge, but it’s not a new challenge, the answers aren’t new. (In fact, the best answers might come from Ann Crittenden’s wonderful “If You’ve Raised Kids, You Can Manage Anything,” which is a work that seems to have been utterly forgotten.)
Finally, the “expert” used — the great Jeremy Adam Smith — has let me know that his quotes don’t reflect his opinion: he believes that caregiving dads aren’t up the creek when they re-enter the workforce. I have to agree. There are unique challenges for anyone who is making the move, and at-home dads aren’t in a uniquely difficult position.
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Disclosures
Posted on 25. Mar, 2010 by Brian Reid.
It has become very hip, in the light of some recent bureaucratic rules and the explosion of mommyblogging conferences, for bloggers to put up a post disclosing how they interact with various commercial entities. So I thought I’d share where rebeldad.com stands on this important issue: I really don’t give a crap about commercial entities.
I have not ever reviewed an item I received for free (or as a result of a pitch by a public relations professional). I don’t expect to do so in the future. I make that pretty clear to PR pros who contact me. They still, occasionally, send stuff to me. And most of that stuff sits on a shelf under I go through a neat-freak phase. And then it goes to Goodwill.
Right now, this blog has no advertising. This is not because I’m against advertising. I just decided that the modest ad revenue I was collecting each month wasn’t worth the space it took up on the blog. So when I redesigned the blog I got rid of it, for aesthetic reasons. Maybe it’ll come back. But I doubt it.
My goal here isn’t to make a million dollars or become some sort of thought leader on the subject of crap you can consume. My goal is to change the world (even if just a tiny bit) by encouraging dads to become more involved in their families and giving aid and comfort to the dads already doing that. If you have a product that will assist in that, by all means, let me know, and I’ll shout it to the world. (With disclosure, of course.)
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More on Why Dads Need to be in the Delivery Room
Posted on 22. Mar, 2010 by Brian Reid.
Of all of the strange controversies having to do with dads, none perplexes me quite as much as the argument that dads shouldn’t be in the delivery room. This getting a pseudo-scientific cast from a French doc who says that having dad around stresses mom out, a proposition that I find highly dubious. I took this on in the Washington Post in early December, coming to two conclusions:
1) In something as harrowing and emotional as childbirth, a lot of moms want their life partner there. Maybe not to do goofy breathing exercises, but to be present, emotionally and spiritually.
2) Selfishly, dads need to be there to made the symbolic statement that there is no part of the process of having kids that they don’t try to maximize. The more you remove a father from the first moments or days or weeks or months of a child’s life, the harder it will be to get him back fully involved.
Now, via the Motherload blog in the New York Times, comes one more argument: witnessing childbirth is a powerful testament to the strength and fire of the women who give birth. As the guest blogger, Josh Tyson, put it:
What I have seen my wife do is nothing short of astonishing. I’m sure that, had she taken an epidural, it still would have been a more-than-memorable experience, but watching her summon all of her strength and channel it directly into such a small and elastic part of her body was phenomenal. The fact that it gave rise to our amazing son Arius makes me sure that nothing that I’ve seen anywhere can or ever will compare. I am a very proud and humbled husband, looking forward to tapping my wife’s immense fire and might as we continue along the divinely beleaguered path of parenthood.
In sure there are other good reasons to be in the delivery room. I’d love to hear yours.