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Posted on 04. Jun, 2008 by Brian Reid in General
Buy Imodium online no prescription, If you were to try to define the five top social trends in the last two decades, you'd be hard-pressed not to cite the changing role of men in the household. No matter how you slice it, Imodium trusted pharmacy reviews, Imodium gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release, we're doing more cooking, more cleaning, purchase Imodium online no prescription, Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, more diaper changing and spending more time with the kids than ever before.* We've done a great job debunking the idea that household tasks and childrearing is something that only women can do.
Enter Women's Health, which this month published a doozy of a piece that says that men don't set up double-dates, rx free Imodium, Order Imodium online overnight delivery no prescription, don't do yard work (really), don't plan vacations and don't cook, buy Imodium without a prescription. Imodium over the counter, The portrait of men could have come from 1978. Or 1968, where can i buy cheapest Imodium online. Purchase Imodium, Or 1958. The only thing that makes it seem modern is a helping of pseudoscience: for most of men's shortcomings, real brand Imodium online, Order Imodium from United States pharmacy, the author cites biological differences between men and women.
We don't arrange double-dated because of high testosterone levels, we don't tend the yard because "women outperform men at spotting altered or out-of-place objects, buy cheap Imodium no rx, Imodium for sale, " we don't plan getaways because our hemispheres aren't as connected, and we don't cook because "most guys grew up with moms who cooked for them, australia, uk, us, usa, Order Imodium online c.o.d, so now they see the kitchen as foreign territory."
I don't know which set of incorrect assumptions is more offensive: the idea that men are basically loutish layabouts or the contention that there's almost nothing that can be done about it because we're helpless prisoners of biology.
* This is a topic of much debate in the RebelHousehold. RebelMom believes deeply -- and with good reason -- that U.S, buy cheap Imodium. Canada, mexico, india, society has a loooong way to go before we get to anything approaching parity in the domestic sphere, and celebrating whatever incremental gains men may have made in the past 20 or 30 years just papers over the fact that there remains a huge gap between what women do at home and what men do, where can i find Imodium online. Where can i buy Imodium online, As usual, RebelMom makes an excellent point, comprar en línea Imodium, comprar Imodium baratos. Online buying Imodium hcl. Order Imodium no prescription. Purchase Imodium online. Fast shipping Imodium. Buy Imodium online cod. Where to buy Imodium. Buy generic Imodium. Buy no prescription Imodium online. Buying Imodium online over the counter. Kjøpe Imodium på nett, köpa Imodium online. Buy Imodium no prescription. Order Imodium from mexican pharmacy. Buy Imodium online no prescription. Where to buy Imodium.
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Always Home and Uncool
04. Jun, 2008
Wow. What a load that article is.
1. We don’t do “double dates” because we want to spend more time with you and the kids, right here in our happy home.
2. I thought I was obsessed with having the perfect, fairway-like lawn? Gotta keep my stereotypes straight.
3. OK, My Love does the vacation planning. She likes it and she’s good at it. She can negotiate a discounted, upgraded rental car like nobody’s business. Am I supposed to unempower her?
4. My mom didn’t cook for me. I panhandled on the streetcorners while she turned tricks for stale donuts from the Bess Eaton because her deadbeat husband ran off with his hot secretary. Don’t feel so smug do you now, Women’s Health?
Backpacking Dad
04. Jun, 2008
I think I’m more annoyed at the overall tone of the piece than the content: studies are studies, and there’s not much to do with data beyond reporting what the data says. Some of the connections there were looser than others (the vacation planning/more connections between hemispheres line is the reach of someone who is just looking for an explanation and thinks “well, this sounds like it could work”. And the “guys don’t cook because mom cooked” line is just a cop out…and a non-sequitur, actually. No matter how much mom cooked, that doesn’t do anything to EXPLAIN why a man wouldn’t cook. That just gives the man (or pseudo-science writer) a JUSTIFICATION for why a man wouldn’t cook.
Honestly, most of the assumptions someone would make about me, if all they did was read this article, would be vindicated, so what the writer has done is found some general-if-not-universal phenomena and presented them as universal.
It’s the tone that’s offensive, because it demeans both men and women: men, by painting them as uninterested children who need to be tricked into behaving in whatever way the wife would like him to behave; women, by painting them as long-suffering, insecure worriers who ‘just need to know why their husbands don’t care’ and who are assured that it’s their own fault, because they aren’t doing enough to manipulate their mates.
It’s a pandering, condescending use of some data, and some bad stereotypes, that doesn’t help anybody except for those who are willing to treat their relationships as totally unbalanced. Maybe that’s how most relationships are, but if that’s the case I don’t know what I did right to not be in one like that.
manager mom
04. Jun, 2008
Yet another reason not to read Women’s Health.
As a working mom who has a working husband, I fully appreciate that he goes far and above the “norm” of what most men do around the house.
But even he still just can’t deal with the vacations, the appointments, the remembering of the permission slips, that kind of crap. Is it because he CAN’T, or because I’ve always done it?
Back in my DJ days I used to be able to wire an entire sound system, including satellite TVs. But since I got married the “technology” part of my brain has atrophied, and now I can barely figure out how to program the DVR.
Joe
04. Jun, 2008
Women’s Health? I thought they were supposed to write opinionated shite. Thanks for pointing this out!
Andy
05. Jun, 2008
What a bunch of crap. Gotta run….I’ve got cookies in the oven and I’m helping instruct the toddler about which shoe goes on which foot.
RebelMom
06. Jun, 2008
For those RebelReaders interested in biology, “The Female Brain” which is mentioned in the article, claims there are all sorts of biochemical differences in male and female brains that are responsible for behavior. It is an interesting read.
Biochemical difference is an interesting issue. It leads us to ask whether and to what extent biological differences (if they exist) should be taken into account in the discrimination and family law. That has huge ramifications for men and women.
One thing that the bio/brain folks don’t explain: at-home dads. According to research, women are the caretakers because of the chemicals that wash their brains and prime them for that function. So what does that say about at-home dads? Are they a defective version of their sex (and the same for career women)? That’s crazy in my book.
(And thanks to RD for the nod to my point of view on one of our frequent household debates
Yuri
06. Jun, 2008
Hey!!!
I cook very well and the only reason I don;t plan getaways is because my idea of getting away is not the same as my wife’s… hehehehe
whilst she’d be happy with just laying on the beach, I’d push for scooba diving, expeditioning, abseiling, climbing etc etc etc…
weeeel.l never mind!
Melissa
06. Jun, 2008
I think that making the stereotypes across gender lines is ridiculous and dangerous. It really irritates me when woman bash men as a whole gender. Yes, there are deadbeat dads, and sexist men who expect women to do all of the cleaning/cooking/childcare.
But there are so many unsung husbands, partners and fathers who are doing an incredibly job taking care of their children and their homes with their wives/partners.
I personally have been convicted that, as a woman and a mother, the best thing that I can do to support equality is to encourage the men around me who are “doing the right thing”. My husband is the most incredible partner and we share equally in the tasks related to keeping our house and raising our kid.
And, maybe, if I’m the only one who notices when the trash cans are filthy-it has more to do with personality than with gender.
Anyways-kudos to all of you rebel dads or whatever the term is.
Jay
06. Jun, 2008
Wow, really. I will say my wife does more of the “internal chores” they bore me, and I am bad at it. but:
How come I always have to repack the car after my wife does for a vacation with the kids. Supposedly she can spot “out of place” things better.
And while my wife does more yard work than most women, I am now wondering how the fence, patio, new garage door, new roof on house, edging, flower box, and new hedges got there, apparently I didn’t do that. I am also curious who cut down the old ones and removed the stumps. At least now I get to tell the wife she has to install drywall and carpet in the basement next week!
Jay
06. Jun, 2008
And one other thing.
How come, a “stay at home” dad is a louse if he doesn’t do ALL the housework, but a Working dad, with a stay at home wife is a louse for not doing “his fair share” of the housework? That 10 hours a day I am off “being lazy” at work, seems like an unfair head start no? (used to be a stay at home dad myself, and I DID keep the house clean!)
Ethel
07. Jun, 2008
I do want to see more advice for women whose DHs are filling the bad housekeeper stereotypes, but I want real information. While RebelMom does make an excellent point, this kind of article doesn’t actually help the woman dealing with an unhelpful husband - in fact, it insults her (as well as him) by claiming that she could easily fix the problem herself by following these steps. Um, sorry, weird author person, but if it were that easy? I’d have worked it out already. Playing psych games with my husband to pander to some hypothetical testosterone-driven disability is not the answer.
The fact is, there is no one size fits all formula (except maybe ‘communicate, communicate, communicate’). Most WOHMs with SAHDs seem to opt for either (a) Let him do his own thing, because he ends up doing it well - just differently - if the wife butts out (b) honey-do lists and lowering expectations or (c) give up and do it all herself. None of these work for us, and we’re still having to figure out how to manage. So I’d love some real information on how to even the score.
Obviously, there *is* a gender divide in home responsibilities - but I strongly believe the main culprit is a lack of domestic education for men. Let’s face it, working around the house while caring for children *is* tough, and average women get training as girls that average men don’t get (at least, not as much) as boys. This leaves a lot of catch-up work for men to do if they want to match their female peers - and being bad at something is, well, discouraging. Maybe even depressing.
This is my take, based on our situation. The main issue is a lack of skill - not biological incapability, or loutishness. Just a need for training and practice that most women got as girls and many men missed out on as boys. Of course, I’d love to see some studies on this specific hypothesis - haven’t heard of any yet, though.
I mean, as a late teen I spent time with a couple of my sisters right after their new babies were born. I learned to change diapers then, and how to hold and burp a baby, and much more. Normally, I cooked dinner once a week, and cleaned dishes after every meal when I didn’t cook, washed the car, mowed the lawn occasionally, cared for a bathroom, and vacuumed and dusted the upstairs. Plus other duties as requested. As a late teen, my husband thinks he had to keep his room neat, but any such rule was not strictly enforced. In our case, his domestic disadvantage is clear - which gives you an idea of just how brave he was being when he agreed to be a SAHD (he never wants to return to paid work, BTW, despite frequently being discouraged as a homemaker).
I want to know if men who do more chores as a child and are given care-taker opportunities in their teems (babysitting, for example) end up being more capable in the home as adults, and end up in more egalitarian marraiges on average. I’d love to know how domestic training as a child impacts men’s futur
Lone Star Ma
07. Jun, 2008
I don’t think it is necessarily bunk that our brains may be wired a bit differently, but that is evolutionary - we are none of us prisoners of our biology - we can evolve. Personally, I think a boy-child can notice what is being done around the house and learn to do it as well as a girl-child - when boys don’t bother to pick these things up, it is because it is still culturally acceptable for them to expect a woman to do it. We both work and can’t afford staff, so we have a pretty dirty house most of the time. When relatives visit and such, I notice that my husband is never on the receiving end of criticism or “helpful advice”. I also notice that it isn’t the male visitors who dish that stuff out. Mothers are often still the primary transmitters of culture at this point, so we have some responsibility in perpetuating this.