Integrating ‘Mommy & Me’
Posted on 24. Sep, 2010 by Brian Reid in gender equity, moms
Full disclosure: I have never, as a dad, been explicitly forbidden from engaging in any sort of parental activity based solely on my gender. For a long time, I assumed that excluded dads were something of an urban legend. And then I heard about a Nashville mom interested in keeping dads away. And then I saw Dana Glazer’s wonderful film, Evolution of Dad, which captures, on tape, a mom denying Dana an invitation to a “Mommy & Me” class.
This week, Dana put up the 3-minute clip of the film where the exclusion takes place as part of a larger post at Huffington Post.I’ve been open that I understand “moms’ nights out,” and grabbing beers with the guys. But I remain baffled by anyone who would — in a childrearing environment — shut out parents. Dana puts it eloquently:
There’s a famous quote by Gloria Steinem that I think is worth repeating here: “Women are not going to be equal outside the home until men are equal in it.” There’s certainly been a lot of growth in terms of how the genders work together, but there’s still a great deal of resistance from all sides. As a society, we still hold too tightly to old stereotypes of what moms and dads should be doing — even when reality dictates we should be more open.
Curious: any of you ever been excluded in this way?
Nick
24. Sep, 2010
I’m glad you’re around b/c I get to vent a little bit here
The Steinem quote isn’t going to happen, because lots of women are threatened by men being equal at home. It hits them where it used to hit men to have a female boss, or pick an analogy.
I don’t know if you’ve seen it but Amazon.com has a new entry in the bumbling parental sexism competition: “Amazon Mom,” which gives discounts on diapers and so forth. Dads can qualify for it, but you have to pretend you’re a mom while shopping for diapers on it.
Matt
24. Sep, 2010
I’ve never been excluded, but it does kinda suck to go to a class that is called Mommy & Me.
Mum mum
24. Sep, 2010
Shared this on our FB page. Love that quote. I’m a mom who would (and tries to) get behind it, and the dad in this household is totally game.
@Nick… it may happen, though in a limited way for now, because, as you say, lots of women are threatened by men encroaching [anywhere]…but it’s only lots…not ALL.
Good luck to all parents. Hooray.
Max
30. Sep, 2010
Yes - I am a single Dad and when my son was an infant I looked for parenting groups on meetup.com. Almost all of them were “mom groups” and many of them specifically said that Dad’s were not allowed in their description.
Of course, some of the groups also had asinine policies like mandatory minimum attendance / etc - so maybe I didn’t miss out on much.
The (only) single parent group has always been very open, however.