RebelDad

Do We Really Need Dad?

Posted on 18. Jun, 2010 by Brian Reid in Uncategorized, research, stats

In honor of Father’s Day, the Atlantic Monthly has decided to rain on the dad parade with a piece titled “Are Dads Necessary?” (In fairness to the Atlantic, it’s from their July issue, so they’re not actually trying to besmirch dads on Father’s Day. I think.) The Atlantic’s answer, in short: Nope. No dads needed.

The argument that’s put forth by author Pamela Paul is pretty simple: the data on how great fathers are is massively compromised by the fact that studies that show the advantage of fathers tend to have comparisons that are not quite right: comparing a traditional two-parent family to one with a single mom doesn’t mean that you can attribute any differences to dads, specifically. Paul goes on to say that apples-to-apples comparisons of traditional families with, say, lesbian couples (or single moms with single dads) demonstrate that dads actually don’t fare all that well.

I have a couple of issues with the general argument, as well as one caveat that is important to get in here as quickly as possible: I don’t believe that the only possible stable family unit has one mom and one dad. There are dozens and dozens of parental styles that can be filled by all kinds of people, from biological parents to step-parents to grandparents to foster parents to mentors or siblings or uncles or whatever. So I don’t think it’s fair to argue that fathers (or mothers) are a “necessary” component in all cases.

But … the literature on the importance of father involvement is so large and so consistent that I am willing to cede certain methodological flaws (I’m also willing to bet that those flaws are not as universal or as fatal as Paul makes them out to be). I’d love to get the take of an Aaron Rochlen or Kyle Pruett here, but I’m pretty sure that we’ve seen apples-to-apples comparisons of involved dads versus uninvolved dads. And — no surprise — kids with involved dads do better.

The traditional-families-versus-lesbian families (even the single-mom vs. single dad thing) is a red herring in all of this. I can’t imagine that Paul is calling for an end to heterosexual childrearing or suggesting that custody should never go to fathers. No, the practical, social question for most of us is “how do we craft a family that will maximize the change of loving and happy kids?”, and the answer is, in the majority of cases, “get dad involved.” I’m not aware of a scrap of research that contradicts this in anything but abusive households.

(I don’t want to dismiss or diminish the research on same-sex couples. Indeed, I hope data on the parenting styles of same-sex parents makes it easier for same-sex couples to marry and adopt.)

In addition, there is no question that, historically, dads are “better” now than they used to be when it comes to engagement with their children, so the literature of a decade or two ago is less and less relevant. So while Paul may have great fun musing on the idea that dads aren’t “necessary,” but she gets to gloss over the fact that dads are certainly important in a huge number of families (and getting more important). But that’s not nearly as much fun to write about, I guess.

UPDATE: It’s been a long week, so this post isn’t as passionate as it probably should be. Cameron Phillips had no such problem, and you should absolutely go read his take on this.