Dumbest Syndicated Columnist Comment of 2008
Posted on 07. Jan, 2009 by Brian Reid in General
Peter Baylies, who has done more to create a national community of dads than anyone else, doesn’t post very much over at his blog, athomedad.com, but when he does, it’s worth reading. So check out his latest, which takes financial columnist Dave Ramsey to task for being trapped with a warped, out-of-date view of manhood.
Dear Dave,
I bring home $2,800 a month, and my husband stays home with our two daughters – one three, the other three months. He’s healthy and able, but he won’t work because he thinks he can’t make enough money to cover the cost of daycare. Our rent is $1,000 a month, and our other bills add up to about $2,000 a month. What do you think about this, and when is it okay to avoid daycare expenses by not working?
DaisyDear Daisy,
I’m an old-school guy, a crusty old dinosaur about some things. I grew up in a generation where a guy who did this kind of thing was called a wuss, or worse; not because he’s staying home with the kids, but because he’s staying at home while you guys can’t pay the bills!I’m all about family togetherness, and with spending as much time with your children as possible, and I don’t have a problem with guys being stay-at-home dads as long as the family is in agreement and can afford to do that kind of thing. But if you’re just scraping by, or can’t meet your financial obligations, which seems to be true with you guys, that’s a different story.
This guy needs to get off his butt, fulfill his responsibilities as a man and a husband, and find a way to start taking care of his family!
- Dave
I don’t know what his money advice is like, but it’s hard to take anyone like this seriously in *any* way …
Damon
09. Jan, 2009
Dave puts financial obligations over family. In this scenario, since they have a $200 shortage per month his thoughts are either earn another $200 or find a way to trip $200 from expenses…simple as that, but not what people want to hear.
Grantwriter
10. Jan, 2009
I don’t have any problem with Dave Ramsey’s advice.
Do the math. $2,800 a month x 12 months = $33,600 a year, for a family of 4. That’s barely getting by, even in most low cost of living areas.
So based on the scenario presented, the guy at least needs to work PT on the weekend or something.
Todd
11. Jan, 2009
I’m a stay at home dad and I work part-time TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! No one can be home 24/7 and not GO FRICKIN’ CRAZY! The extra money is helpful as well.
Jeff
13. Jan, 2009
How can he not earn more than the daycare charges? There are always people who watch children in the their homes for much lower fees than an official daycare. My mom did for quite a while. She charged probably half the cost of an official daycare and the kids got more personal attention than they would have at a business.
The bottom line is if you can’t afford your lifestyle you need to change it. It sounds like the woman is doing her part and the man needs to chip in.
Ebeth
13. Jan, 2009
I gotta say, I am not with Dave here.
I don’t live in one of those lower cost of living areas - major city - and my daycare costs (group care for one kid) exceed $1000 a month. Even in-home care would run me $650 per month per kid, not including costs like the extra car or babysitters we need to make sure that daycare pickup occurs on time, and lost work time on the days when the baby is bounced from daycare due to (largely daycare-caught) contagious illness. That’s $1300 a month for two kids, for a substantial reduction in quality and flexibility of care over an at-home parent. And that’s because I live on the cheaper end of this major metropolitan area. If I moved 5 miles north, my costs would double.
This family probably needs to adjust thair tax withholdings (have they added the additional dependant to their W-4s?) and look for other ways to trim expenses. The wife might consider looking for higher paying jobs in her field or agitating for a raise. An at-home parent is an incredible resource for a family with small children, they should look for ways to leverage the advantage.
Aaron
13. Jan, 2009
I have a harder time taking seriously someone who thinks slowly going broke equals good parenting. “We can’t afford food, but Daddy will always be here to watch you starve!” If the cost of living is $200 a month more than you’re making, you need to go earn $200 or more a month. Mom already has a job, so it’s Dad’s turn. It doesn’t need to be a full-time gig - it can be a paper route so long as it’s $200 a month - but dude, do the math.
Josh
13. Jan, 2009
I’m work, with stay-at-home wife. One toddler, one infant.
Dave Ramsey is just telling it like it is, and I agree. Something has to change. If you’re running $200 low every month, that means you have no savings (or it is eroding quickly) and your credit cards balances are going the wrong way. That means when the unexpected $800 car repair is needed, or your child gets injured at you have $300 out or pocket to pay, or whatever… when ANYTHING happens, you’re toast. This is not the responsible way to live.
My wife is stay-at-home mom and I have a good paying job, but if we were falling short month after month and had trimmed everything we could, it would be time for her to get a part-time job temporarily on the weekend or evening when I can take care of our toddler and infant.
Gregg
13. Jan, 2009
I think that if you are out-spending your income, you need to increase that income or decrease the spending. Simple as that. As a stay-at-home dad myself, I have discovered that cutting down costs is not terribly hard if you are willing to put in a little elbow grease.
Instead of buying pasta, I buy semolina flour and make my own pasta, saving about 50% or more. I make my own bread, saving about 75%. I cook daily instead of going out, we save over $400 a month and get better meals. I am also starting an online business to try to bring in at least $600 a month. We even got rid of one of our cars when my wife changed jobs to work within a 15 minute walk instead of a 50 minute drive thus saving huge amounts on fuel, maintenance and insurance costs. I even write and submit articles to magazines and newspapers for $20-$100 each.
This is all to say that going out of the house to earn more money is not the only solution. I don’t want you to think that I am an over-achiever, I am actually too lazy and quite unwilling to go back to my machinists job so I am earning by saving and by starting a home-based business. I still get to stay home and take care of my little boy which I think is the most important thing.
Colin
13. Jan, 2009
Can’t see the problem here. No bashing to speak of that isn”t merited. The guy needs to figure out how to bring some income. (sell his x-box perhaps… projecting I know, sorry) Work at Starbucks on the weekends or something. Ramsey is not bashing, he is just doing simple math and asking a guy to take responsibility. If I can run an active Real Estate business while watching a 14 week old then he can make $200 a month somewhere.
babbo
14. Jan, 2009
Yuck! “Crusty” & “butt” in the same article? That’s just wrong, not to mention smelly, too.
Someone should tell that slacker dad in the article that there are night jons, too. Ones that can be worked when his wife is home! No babbysitting needed.
Peace,
babbo
http://www.daddybrain.wordpress.com
babbo
14. Jan, 2009
Sorry, “night jobs,” not night jons…
Anonymous
27. Jan, 2009
Would the comments be the same about a SAHM who won’t work?