More on Why I Hate Parenting Magazines
Posted on 31. Dec, 2008 by Brian Reid in General
I have long held that parenting magazines have something against dads, working — either explicitly or implicitly — to favor a just-us-moms tone rather than cultivate a more expansive readership that considers men equal parents.
So thanks to Keith Tipton, I need to pass along this revealing NY Times piece from earlier this month covering Scholastic’s decision to name a male editor in chief. I am happy enough with that as a symbolic move that I’m willing to overlook the stereotypical view of dads that the article takes. But the most enlighting passage comes from Susan Kane, the editor of Parenting (who long used the slogan “we get moms” to sell the mag):
“The fact that I’m a mom is a big asset because I’ve been there, and because there’s a certain kind of mom-to-mom connection that, frankly, moms want,” she said. “There’s a kind of intimacy and a kind of club that you’re in as a mom once you’ve given birth or once you’ve gone through the adoption process.
“My husband is, for all intents and purposes, the mom in our family. I’m really the breadwinner, he’s the cook, he does the grocery shopping, he’s home more often than I am. But I’m still the mommy,” she said.
So there you have it, from the horse’s mouth. Whatever the initimacy created upon parenthood, dads are apparently not a part of it. Good luck with that kind of exclusionary attitude during the media-belt-tightening months of 2009.
Dave
01. Jan, 2009
I dumped my parenting magazines over a year ago.. they’re just repackaging the same crap anyway.. besides being elitist.. And.. they still aren’t up to speed on what we were learning in college parenting classes 20 years ago.
Dump em.. use the net… they don’t want us anyway. Let the advertisers miss out on reaching us.. good riddance.
KC
02. Jan, 2009
Moms want a “mom to mom connection” ? Heh, prove it.
Tom
02. Jan, 2009
Face it - there are no ‘parenting’ magazines - just mom magazines with ‘parents’ in the title, or dad magazines, like FQ.
Just pick up a ‘parenting magazine’ from the rack and compare it to the women’s section and the men’s section - style, design, tone of voice etc etc…
Ben Murphy, TheFatherLife.com
02. Jan, 2009
Yeah - I caught this one as well; heartening, right?
Nick is a good guy from my dealings with him and I’m hoping that Scholastic might become more inclusive as a result.
I think he’s the first male editor of a parenting magazine - ever. A lot of pressure to be sure… -B
Seth, Noodad.com
06. Jan, 2009
Couldn’t agree more that “Parenting” presents a one-sided view of family life. I have long questioned how a magazine called “Parenting” could have a slogan like it did…call it “Mothering” and ditch the false pretense. And the lone male perspective - the guy they have write the Dads-eye View column is usually kinda a tool. My frustration at this kind of ‘assumed convention’ extends to baby products. Graco’s slogan (printed all over their boxes and ads) is “ask moms who know.” That’s a nice slap in the face to all of the dads involved in purchase decisions and male same sex couples out there. Then again dad bloggers, we recognized a need and we’ve carved out own little niche for us and our brethren on the internet, haven’t we?!
Chris
21. Jan, 2009
I’m a single dad. Flying solo with two young boys, and I’ve yet to find a main stream media anything that doesn’t seem to run with the 1950′s notion of a man’s place being anywhere but in the home.
It’s interesting to me because as I deal with other parents, the trend is there. More fathers ignoring the expectation of cold corporate priorities where family is second at best.. Putting their families and their children first. And I see mothers, unwilling to accept a father who doesn’t put their family first.
Yet through it all the magazines, books, and even TV/movies don’t seem to realize that they are alienating more parents, both mothers and fathers by not embracing the reality that children have two parents, that men and women are different, and that this is the 21st century not the 17th.
In the end those who fail to adapt and reflect the needs of the current population of parents will be forced to accept their irrelevancy in bankruptcy court.
It is slow. But it is happening. It is the advertisers who will decide which magazines survive. And they are starting, however slowly, to realize this is a new age.
I ditched my “mothering” magazines one at a time as each one published articles explaining how fathers aren’t parents, and men are not equal.
Some of the advertisers are beginning to get it. After all “Choosy Dad’s Choose Jiff” I should send them an email asking them to bring that ad back for another run.
David Phillips
27. Mar, 2010
This blog and all of the comments are so right on— My wife and I have been at each other for a while and when she told me to read Kama Sutra for moms in the latest magazine it floored me it talks about giving him a BJ or a hand job to get him off your back and gives moms tips on how to bribe or hold sexual intamacy over thier heads.
I am sorry but if these wemon didnt want intamacy in thier marriges they sould have had thier babies in a Lab.
I would hate for one of my older nephews or nieces to find this magazine and read the artilce at all let alnoe the “BJ” part.