Overworked Husbands=At-Home Moms (But Not Vice Versa)

Posted on 06. Apr, 2010 by Brian Reid.

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Yesterday, I posted on Katherine Lewis’ great WaPo Magazine story on the struggles of a woman to get back into the workforce. But there is an even bigger question that undergirds that whole article: what drives people out of the workforce in the first place? This is the great unmentionable in “opt-out revolution” stories in which well-educated women leave the workplace. It’s usually framed as a question of prioritizing: having a child draws out the maternity instinct, making work for pay all the less appealing.

That’s the romantic version, anyway.

A new paper out in American Sociological Review finds another reason why highly educated, high-powered woman leave the workforce: they’re married to workaholics. It’s especially pronounced in professional woman and in mothers. Here’s the essence of the research, from the press release on the article:

… having a husband who works 60 hours or more per week increases a woman’s odds of quitting by 42 percent. … The odds of quitting increase by 51 percent for professional women whose husbands work 60 hours or more per week, and for professional mothers the odds they will quit their jobs jumps 112 percent.

What’s dispiriting is that this isn’t about money or the difficultly of balancing life in a household where one partner is gone 12+ hours a day. It’s about gender norms. When the researchers look at women who worked 60+ hours a week, husbands were no more likely, statistically, to quit. So the traditional model, with the guy’s career first, remains the reigning paradigm.

I’ve done my part to change the trend, but — apparently — I haven’t done enough.

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The Work of Getting Back to Work

Posted on 05. Apr, 2010 by Brian Reid.

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The big question when anyone leaves the work force — whether willingly, to be an at-home parent, or unwillingly, for economic reasons — is how you start the process of getting back into the work force. The whole question of re-entry is evergreen, and it shows up (some years more prominently than others) at the annual At-Home Dad Convention.

With that as a backdrop, the Washington Post ran an excellent story this weekend* on a 52-year-old Washington woman who had been out of the workforce after 17 years as an at-home moms. It is, at times, a heart-wrenching tale of struggle and failure, but it has a happy ending.

It’s good reading.

Also interesting is the Post chat featuring author Katherine Lewis. Two of my favorite bits have to do with dads. The first is Katherine’s note that the dad, who shows up little in the story and generally in the “breadwinner” role, is actually an active dad. One of the things that drives me nuts about mom-focused work-life stuff is the fact that dads are generally invisible.

The other part worth reading is Katherine’s judo move on a dad bellyaching about gender stereotypes that allow moms the “easy” choice of staying home while dads have the “burden” of breadwinning:

Bethesda, MD: This is a serious comment. As a husband and father, I would love it if my wife went out and supported the family while I stayed home with the kids! It just doesn’t seem fair to me that the economioc burden of supporting the family should rest entirely with one spouse.

Katherine Reynolds Lewis: Have you talked to your wife about this? You never know — she might go for it. I find more and more men who feel this way.

* Full disclosure: Katherine Lewis also blogs about work-life stuff at about.com. She is also a wonderful woman who once sat in the desk across from mine, a decade ago. So take that into account. But read the story anyway.

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Final Thoughts (for now) on Flexibility

Posted on 01. Apr, 2010 by Brian Reid.

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I was a bit harsh in my assessment of the White House Forum on Workplace Flexibility, but good night’s sleep hasn’t caused me to renounce my skepticism. Still, in the interest of fair balance, I should say that some people who stare at the issues of work-life balance harder than me have come to some different conclusions and yesterday’s event.

Ellen Galinsky of the Families and Work Institute was glowing about how the event suggested that three decade of work were paying off. And my friend and erstwhile college Katherine Lewis titled her post at about.com “My Workplace Flexibility Day to Remember.”

I think they offer important context. Please read what they had to say. But, at the end of the day, I’ll stick by Daddy Types take on the situation.

As for why I can still be cranky when work-life balance received the presidential treatment, I think my deep unease around the lack of governmental action comes back to something else I stumbled on today: Human Rights Watch — you know, the group that spends a lot of time advocating against systematic murder and torture - is apparently working on a report about parental leave in the United States. And while I don’t think anyone is comparing unpaid leave to torture, it is telling that on this particular issue, the United States looks pretty close to the bottom of the heap by international standards.

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