More on Why Dads Need to be in the Delivery Room
Posted on 22. Mar, 2010 by Brian Reid in moms, pregnancy and childbirth
Of all of the strange controversies having to do with dads, none perplexes me quite as much as the argument that dads shouldn’t be in the delivery room. This getting a pseudo-scientific cast from a French doc who says that having dad around stresses mom out, a proposition that I find highly dubious. I took this on in the Washington Post in early December, coming to two conclusions:
1) In something as harrowing and emotional as childbirth, a lot of moms want their life partner there. Maybe not to do goofy breathing exercises, but to be present, emotionally and spiritually.
2) Selfishly, dads need to be there to made the symbolic statement that there is no part of the process of having kids that they don’t try to maximize. The more you remove a father from the first moments or days or weeks or months of a child’s life, the harder it will be to get him back fully involved.
Now, via the Motherload blog in the New York Times, comes one more argument: witnessing childbirth is a powerful testament to the strength and fire of the women who give birth. As the guest blogger, Josh Tyson, put it:
What I have seen my wife do is nothing short of astonishing. I’m sure that, had she taken an epidural, it still would have been a more-than-memorable experience, but watching her summon all of her strength and channel it directly into such a small and elastic part of her body was phenomenal. The fact that it gave rise to our amazing son Arius makes me sure that nothing that I’ve seen anywhere can or ever will compare. I am a very proud and humbled husband, looking forward to tapping my wife’s immense fire and might as we continue along the divinely beleaguered path of parenthood.
In sure there are other good reasons to be in the delivery room. I’d love to hear yours.
Judith Leavitt
23. Mar, 2010
For a history of the arguments that men used to move from the waiting room to the birthing room in mid-20th century hospitals, see my book Make Room for Daddy: The Journey from Waiting Room to Birthing Room. The stories of the dads-to-be incorporate the emotional meaning for the men as well as the benefits to the family bond. There were always some men who did not want to be there, but the vast majority were eager to leave the isolated waiting room to be with their wives, to support the women, and to embrace the new role of fatherhood.
WhoHasDad
23. Mar, 2010
My Mrs has always been adamant that I be by her side (and tbh I’d rather be by her side than at her end - eek!).
Just hope I can get there in plenty of time!
Alvin
28. Mar, 2010
We did it TOGETHER! There is nothing more important than the sense of accomplishment for completing something like this together. During the entire pregnancy to be there for her like you’ve never been there for anything or anyone else before will create a bond that will last for a lifetime. During the pregnancy we grew together and during delivery we laughed, smiled, cried and today know that we are FAMILY. The important thing is that my wife witnessed the supposingly hard times were made simple and that she can depend on me/dad for anything. Being there supporting the wife during delivery is the least that could be done. Thanks for sharing Brian!
Ren
22. Apr, 2010
I am the youngest of four. My dad was present for the birth of the two oldest (now aged 52 and 47), but not for the last two. The difference? Different doctor and different hospital. For the first two my parents had a Dutch doctor who was insistent that Dad’s be present at the birth. Amazing don’t you think? He was obviously ahead of his time.