"Even the Most Enlightened, Feminist Males Struggle" With At-Home Role, Says ABC

Posted on 06. May, 2009 by Brian Reid in General

Somewhere, an engineer at Google is developing an algorithm that allows a computer to write the in-vogue working-man-loses-job-and-starts-doing-the-kid-thing story without any human intervention. All the computer would have to do is find a guy, automatically insert a generic harmless quote about adjusting to the role. There would be a quote from the spouse expressing support for her mate — and concern about being the sole breakwinner. And there would be some expert commentary on how this is a trend that may or may not be here to last.

I don’t think that a computer program assembled last night’s ABC News piece on layoffs and at-home dads, but it’s certainly possible. The only element of the story that caught my eye was the “expert” quote:
‘Even the most enlightened, feminist males struggle when they can no longer be the primary earner,’ said Deborah Carr, professor of sociology at Rutgers University.

Now, I don’t want to claim that the transition to at-home fatherhood is all chocolate and roses, but for most guys who make the decision (or have the decision thrust on them), losing the primary earner status is not a huge deal. It’s like any other transition in life: scary, kind of weird, certainly an adjustment. But not a struggle.

Sheesh.

7 Responses to “"Even the Most Enlightened, Feminist Males Struggle" With At-Home Role, Says ABC”

  1. Working Dad

    06. May, 2009

    I couldn’t agree more RD, and I am going though it as I type this.

  2. Jeff

    06. May, 2009

    Haha! Google Algorithm…that’s hilarious. Bravo Rebel Dad.

  3. DJ Nelson

    06. May, 2009

    Well you know, people need something to talk about so they act like everything under the sun is new.

  4. Greg Barbera

    07. May, 2009

    i think the scarier transition has been to leave my primary caregiver role and go back to work..

  5. Kelly M. Bray

    07. May, 2009

    I am not a feminist. Does that mean that when I was a stay at home dad I was miserable and crazy? Funny, I was having the most special time of my life… go figure!

  6. Mark

    16. May, 2009

    No, I’d say “struggle” is about right. As you’ve documented terrifically in the past, the optimal arrangement I think is a shared parenting role. When you have an either-or situation (FT SAHD or SAHM), I’ve come to believe it can often create an imbalance, whether conscious or unconscious. Women seem to accept this arrangement more easily than men in my observation.

  7. William Young

    18. May, 2009

    This kind of *analysis* of sahds is truly sad, because these nutjobs in the MSM just don’t get us. On the one hand, they’re all for CHANGE! and the re-ordering of society along new, whackjob theories (gay marriage &etc [NTTAWWT]) and then when they find society re-ordered in some way (SAHDs & etc), the media expresses *concern* about how society has been re-ordered and wonders if it’s a good thing.

    What am I: a super-empowered “modern DAD” not afraid of diapers and raising children, or am I recently emasculated man forced into a life of child raising because there’s just no other choice and I’m a hapless shmuck anyway?

    But I did all the cooking and cleaning pre-children, so what’s the dif? Now I just have people to yell at when things are flowing my way…

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