"Lindsay Ferrier's At it Again"
Posted on 14. Feb, 2008 by Brian Reid in General
“Lindsay Ferrier’s at it again.” That was the subject line in my Gmailbox letting me know that Nashville’s unofficial spokesmom, Lindsay Ferrier, has followed up her edgy-yet-clueless column about how dads and moms are two great tastes that taste weird together with a second column defending the first.
This deserves a thoughtful response in a higher-profile venue — and that’s coming — but I wanted to get a couple of quick reactions out right now:
1. All of my originial objections stand. The idea that a dad would fundamentally screw up a mommy playgroup is silly. Moms were welcome at my old at-home dad playgroup. Women are welcome at the At-Home Dad Convention. I play hockey with a couple of women. And they come drink with the guys after the game. And no one’s head explodes if the conversation turns to vasectomies or whether Brooks Laich is hot. Why erect gender barriers?
2. Ms. Ferrier has plumbed the depths of her e-mail and the internet and come to the conclusion that men in general — and at-home dads in particular — are perverted home wreckers. All I can say is if she believes what she’s writing, she has about zero understanding of how men actually act and think.
3. Correct me if I’m wrong, but the big difference between poker night with the guys (or a girls night out) and a playgroup is that — in theory — a playgroup involves some thought to the social development/amusement of the kids. At least a little. But apparently in Ferrier’s world, the desire to talk dirty about the Wiggles outweighs the needs of the children to play with a diverse group. (I know this is a weak argument. Most playgroups I’ve seen are primarily about the need for parents to break up the routine, not provide age-appropriate mental stimulation for the toddlers. But let’s pay at least lip service to the idea that when you tell adults that they’re not welcome at a playgroup, there’s a kid who’s not welcome, too.)
Will
14. Feb, 2008
I was up until 2 this morning writing about it. I just couldn’t sleep until I got it all out.
Thanks RebelDad. As always, you the man.
denguy
14. Feb, 2008
“when you tell adults that they’re not welcome at a playgroup, there’s a kid who’s not welcome, too”
Story of my life when my daughter was young and we lived in the east end of town.
Since moving to the west and having a son, the moms out here have no problem inviting me. And I have no choice but to mix genders since I’m the only sahd around.
Dave
15. Feb, 2008
I’ve been a member of a couple of playgroups at Meetup.com… and both tried to give me organizational duties (which I’m no good at and definately didn’t want/need).. and i don’t care if they wanna talk dirty ’bout the Wiggles.. though, our poor-man’s cable package is thankfully sans-Wiggles..
My experience with being not welcome in one group.. and welcome in another.. well.. one group was actually looking for bi-sexual partners.. and another I think just wanted to spouse bash.. which is fine with me too..
If they are fearing you.. then they have a problem.. and you don’t need a playgroup with a problem.. the kids get enough mixed messages.. just take the kid to the park and the non-group moms will take you in..
But whatever you do.. you have to get out.. staying in and alone gets very unhealthy!
How far out west are you??
Dave
Oceanside, CA
A Man Among Mommies
15. Feb, 2008
Comments well thought out my friend. The wife and I both thought the same thing about the kid the one losing out.
I also posted an article about At Home Parent Politics and gave a “quote” and link to her article.
Be Well
A-M-A-M
SkumChiken
16. Feb, 2008
My wife (she’s more p*ssed than I am at this woman) and I both agree on one thing - this woman is a spoiled brat.
DK
20. Feb, 2008
I’m coming to this one a little late but had to put in my 2 cents.
I, a stay at home dad, hang out with stay at home moms all the time. I even go to “moms” night out with them. We don’t see this being any different than a lone woman in an office filled with men.
Martta
25. Aug, 2008
What’s the big deal? And, more importantly, what is Lindsay Ferrier’s problem, other than being a stuck-up witch? Sheesh…why can’t we all get along?
I’ve read her blog and I NOT impressed. She reminds me of those snooty girls in high school who didn’t want outsiders sitting at their lunch table. it’s time for Ms. Ferrier to grow up.