RebelDad

Posted on 20. Nov, 2004 by Brian Reid in General

History Lesson: One of the frustrations about thinking about at-home fatherhood is the limited range of experience. I know what I’m going through, what my peers are going through even what some of the older guys (like many I’ve met out here) have gone through. But Kyle Pruett’s keynote this morning broadened the perspective even more and served as a real reminder that even though involved fathering is becoming more common, we are at the “vanguard” of a radical change that has only begun in the last generation.

Pruett explained how he started his research on at-home dads in the 70s, and how the very idea that at-home fathers could be beneficial (or at least benign) was a rare position to hold. (“It was not clear that what you are doing was OK,” he said.) He couldn’t get grant funding for his survey of at-home dads, which remains the most descriptive academic work on SAHDS. But one of the triumphs of Pruett’s work (and the work of others) over the past 20 years is that no one thinks that I’m harming my kid by the sheer force of our family arrangement.

We’re making progress, he reports. Co-parenting, as a shared value in newly married couples, now ranks #2 of 15 different values. In 1981, co-parening ranked 11th. That’s progress. Thanks, Kyle.

(I’ll touch on a couple of other Pruett points in a later post (and I’ll work on adding links and maybe spellchecking, too), but for much of his presentation, I’d really have to just recommend his book, “Fatherneed.” And it’s worth noting that Pruett was a perfect fit for his audience: I’ve never seen a convention presentation attract so much in the way of discussion/questions/challenges. We’re all thisty for someone with Pruett’s perspective — it’s a shame there aren’t more like him.)