Posted on 01. Oct, 2004 by Brian Reid in General
As Homer would say: Mmmmm …donuts. The only real dad-related news to have crossed my desk lately is this piece from a Pennsylvania paper on the local elementary school’s “Doughnuts for Dads” program. Now, this is clearly not new or unique (“Donuts for Dads” returns 472 Google hits. The more stylistically correct “Doughnuts for Dads” returns 222 hits), but it is an important trend.
I’ve long been frustrated by the difficulty of getting dads together for any reason. The social networks that mothers tend to form — in my experience — are far tighter than those that fathers form, and information about kids tends not to flow to dads very well. Doughnuts for dads offers a forum to bring the discussion right to them. That discussion is probably focused on the school — what the kids are doing, ways to get involved — but the potential is probably greater. If I were to form a fathering support group/bull session/poker game, I can think of few better places to get it off the ground. If I was pushing a dad-focused reading program, “Doughnuts for Dads would be a great place to buttonhole fathers. (California-based Project DADS, incidently, did use “Doughnuts for Dads” for that very purpose.)
I’d love to hear more about strategies — food based or otherwise — that are harnessing the power of involved fatherhood. Any stories out there?
Hogan Hilling
01. Oct, 2004
Kind of donut makes a difference too!
I did a Dad’s Donut Breakfast in 1995. Local coffee shop donated the coffee and the PTA paid for the donuts that I purchased from a local donut shop. Twenty dads showed up with their kids. Two months later I organized another Dad’s Donut Breakfast and advertised that “Krispy Kreme” donuts would be served. Ninety dads attended the event. Dad’s “Krispy Kreme” Donuts Breakfast at our school is now a tradition. Average attendance has been 80 dads.
Hogan
Hogan Hilling
01. Oct, 2004
Another way dads can get involved is to visit their child during lunch or recess. There are a few working dads who do this at my children’s school. Unfortunately, a lot of working dads don’t even know they can do this. In part, because of ignorance on everyones part including the dads. Schools and employers also dont encourage dads or advertise it and should. I wrote a story about my lunch visits in my book “The Man Who Would Be Dad.”
It would also be nice if the PTA would start acknowledging both a father and mother when they present the “Volunteer of the Year” Award at the end of every school year. I did some research on this. Dads have rarely been recognized. At my children’s school only one dad has ever been recognized in the school’s 30 year history. And that was only because I requested it. It took me two years to persuade the PTA board members all of whom were moms to accept and follow through with my proposal.
Continued Next Post
Hogan Hilling
01. Oct, 2004
There is so much the PTA, schools and employers could be doing to encourage a dads involvement but they dont. Go figure. Statistics and research shows that a dads involvement is crucial to improving academic performance, etc…. Yet, little has been done to encourage a dads participation in school.
Hogan
Indigo
01. Oct, 2004
My husband is a wonderful and enthusiastic stay at home dad who has been in that role for over a year now. With our son turning 3 this year, and beginning to do more activities outside the home and park, such as preschool and community sports, it has become very apparent that our community is NOT stay at home dad friendly. Not only did the preschool director call me AT WORK when our son was sick to pick him up -even though my husband was listed as the primary contact - but they frequently call me about all sorts of issues, and get snippy when I tell them to call him.
Indigo
01. Oct, 2004
continued…
The community groups aren’t much different. I especially LOVED the time they had toddler soccer practice at a location with NO MENS BATHROOMS. It wasn’t like my husband could take my son to the women’s bathroom - he finally had to beg one of the other mom’s to take my kid to the bathroom. When he called to complain, they shrugged it off saying that they’d never had a dad come to the practices, they usually came to the games. What the hell???