Posted on 16. Sep, 2004 by Brian Reid in General
What am I doing wrong? A loyal reader sent along a link to this CIO Magazine story on a guy, David Koenig, who has taken a hiatus from the long hours of the IT world to be an at-home dad for a few months. It’s a wonderful bit about leisurely breakfasts with the kids, trips to the gym and driving range during school, then perhaps a soccer practice or two. “There is real value in being a bum for a change. You’re never in a rush, and you can let the day take you wherever it wants,” Koenig writes.
It’s a great marketing piece for us at-home dads, and I’m thrilled with it. Of course, it’s complete bunk. Who among us can let the day take us wherever it wants? I mean, for all the slings and arrows I directed at Austin Murphy’s book, the often-frenetic lifestyle he wrote about felt dead-on accurate. But being a “‘new older brother’” whose primary responsibility is taking the kiddies to Sox games? Would that I were as lucky as Koenig.
Jammer
16. Sep, 2004
I dunno, Rebel. There’s bunk and there’s bunk. I mean, look at the ages of his kids, for one thing. An 8-year old can pretty much take care of himself. And I’ve never been a CIO, but so much of what I’ve heard or read about being a boss like that is just piles and piles of hassle that all needs to be DONE RIGHT NOW!
Compared to that, even a very busy stay at home life is likely to seem amazingly tranquil. Sure, we’ve always got something to do, we don’t lack for work, but in my case at least, there isn’t that pressure that if this weird error in the data isn’t fixed nobody in Duluth is gonna get paid so you gotta stay until it works.
Jammer
16. Sep, 2004
Oops, wrong blog on the homepage of that prior post. Well, not wrong exactly, but for another audience.
amy
17. Sep, 2004
I don’t know that it’s reasonable to bother much with CIO/CEO/MacArthur-winner/astronaut testimonials for at-home fatherhood, or anything else much to do with work. These are people who are where they are on purpose because they love doing the stuff and you couldn’t pry them off it with a crowbar — plus they’re very quick and talented, and healthy enough to work like that (or don’t care). Basing standards and policy on these people is dumb, unless all you’re trying to do is preserve their freedom to work like frothing maniacs.
Why not submit a counter-piece to CIO, rD? In the interests of reminding the readership that they cannot assume their employees either live like they do or want to live like they do? This is actually one magazine where I bet a letter or essay would be worthwhile.
amy
17. Sep, 2004
Gah. That first line should’ve ended, “…or anything else much to do with work/life.”
amy
17. Sep, 2004
oh…and yeah, the site’s really bright now. I think something darker/calmer for the white boxes would fix that.
Rebel Dad
17. Sep, 2004
Thanks for the perspective. It’s clear that the article isn’t about how wonderful at-home fatherhood is, it’s about how nice it feels to step off the corporate treadmill. The family stuff is kind of filler to back up his point that a break from the grind is a wonderful thing. And who can argue with that?
(Amy — thanks for the suggestion on a CIO piece. If I end up exploring a story or a letter, I’ll let you all know.)
-rD
Stephen
19. Sep, 2004
I think the unspoken word here is “nanny”. Clearly his kids must have had someone taking care of them while he and his wife worked. That person is probably still doing all the grunt work! And will still be there when he finishes his precious sabatical….
Which would make him about the male equivalent of what I like to call the “shopping mom”…
I really like the new website design.