Dads: Happy Parents

Posted on 04. Aug, 2010 by rebel in Uncategorized

Of the many things I missed during my now-completed summer hiatus (sorry about that!) was a New York Magazine story titled All Joy and No Fun: Why Parents Hate Parenting. It got a ton of attention, and I decided not to comment on it for the simple reason that a) it had been totally dissected by every other parent with an Internet connect and b) happiness research is a pretty sketchy science, and I would hate to validate the research or the journalism by carping on it.

But I’m bringing it up for two reasons:

1. I want to find an excuse to “For Jessica,” a blog post written ostensibly in response to some of research about why parenting doesn’t make us happier. The word I saw used to describe the post is “devastating,” and that about sums it up. I’m not sure a blog has ever made me cry before. Neither parenting nor happiness can be broken down well into data points.

2. I want to find an excuse to find to this NPR segment in which some dads talk with the author of the New York piece about why dads, in general, seem to be happier when it comes to parenting. It features the wonderful Jason Sperber of Rice Daddies, and it touches on some of my favorite topics: the increasing work-life balance issues for men, the differences in expectations and the like.

I’m loathe to float my own theories on why dads appear to be happier, given that I’m suspicious of the research in the first place, but this seems as good a time as any to bust out with one of my favorite assertions: the one thing that fathers do better than mothers is parent without worrying about judgment from others. From what I’ve seen, dads almost never feel like they’re not living up to some unattainable standard. And that makes me happy.