THE PARENTING MANIFESTO PROJECT

From Michelle Grajales:

1.  Martyrs are no fun.  Have a short list of things you do every week to maintain your own happiness and sanity.  Personally, I prioritize "me time" because I'm deeply afraid of becoming a stereotypical parent who "lets it all go."  I can picture myself with that frazzled look on my face, wearing nothing but sneakers and velour track suits, running around with three inch roots and bitterness in my heart.  Well...maybe I haven't entirely staved it off, but having some personal time every week helps.

2.  Never let your kids see you act like a doormat.  Model appropriately assertive behavior when you encounter "bullies" in every-day life.  If someone cuts you in line for the movies, let your kid see you say, "Excuse me.  I was here first..." without turning 15 shades of purple and having a heart attack.  Conflicts are a part of life.  How stressful those conflicts will be for individual children depends, in part, on what skills they learn from their parents.

3.  Be as silly as possible.  Even if your homelife is totally chaotic, there have got to be a few seconds for some fun.  Do the mambo while you're cooking dinner.  Build a fort.  Hide out with your kid under the table.  See how many times your toddler can say "no" in a row.  At least entertain yourself, if your kid is in a horrible mood.

4.  Don't bug out.  That one is my husband's contribution.  I think it
is his way of saying that it helps not to take things too seriously and
have a four-alarm parenting crisis over every little thing.  Heck, even in a crisis, it doesn't help to have a parent running around like
Chicken Little.  The one exception might be when you lose your kid in Target where it does, apparently, help to start screaming "Where is my baby?" at the top of your lungs.  So I hear.

5.  No rolling on the floor in Starbucks.  Set some limits, and enforce them.  Do not allow your child to risk a serious burn (and make me spill my $5 coffee!) by playing Ring-Around-The-Rosie among a crowded group of caffeine-deprived grinches at the coffee shop.

6.  Be a positive force.  Do your very best to create an atmosphere of peace and love in your home.  Practically speaking, do not invite people who really stress you out over.  Don't bicker.  But there are also a million ways to encourage a positive "vibe" in your home.  We're into turning up the music, hanging up our daughter's artwork everywhere, and praising all potty-training progress.  The main point is to be aware of what is going on in your child's environment, because they soak it up and make it part of themselves, for better or worse.