THE PARENTING MANIFESTO PROJECT
From Laura:My rule no. 1: give up any notion of perfection, and accept that whatever you do, it will be wrong. And yet your kids will in all likelihood turn out fine, despite what they will be sure to tell you are your egregious faults and failings.
Rule No. 2: Trust your instincts. I think this has to trump Brian's Rule No. 3 sometimes, because doctors are human, like anyone else, and make mistakes. Yes, you need to have trusted, knowledgeable advisors who can tell you not to worry about every little thing. But no matter what they say, if you're still not comfortable, go with your gut.
Two of my biggest regrets as a parent were when I violated Rule No. 2. The first time it meant my daughter stayed in a horrible preschool for several extra months because I believed she was just "going through a phase" ("phase" = extremely bad teacher). The second time it meant 48 hrs of gut-wrenching worry watching my son fighting to breathe, ultimately ending in the emergency room, because the on-call doctor over the weekend brushed it off as "just a virus."
Rule No. 3: Remember that you are the adult, and act like it. A 3-yr-old pitching a tantrum is a developmental stage; a 30-yr-old has no excuse. And frankly, it doesn't work -- if you yell and belittle and hit whenever your kids act up, they might shut-up short-term, but long-term, you're teaching them that that is how people should behave.
Corollary to Rule No. 3: Always remember that you are your kids' idol. They want to be you, and will watch you every second (usually when you think they're paying the least attention) so they can learn to do and act and be just like you. So be the person you want them to be.