Cross-Promotion: My Issue with "Parenting" Magazines
Posted on 20. Sep, 2007 by Brian Reid in General
I take on the ridiculous mommy-centrism of the parenting magazines today in On Balance:
Inevitably, reading through the issues, my blood pressure would rise. Even leaving aside the “beauty tips,” nearly every article was explicitly targeted at moms, with story after story filled with “mom tips” or “mom advice” or “a real mom’s story.” It was as if half of the parents just didn’t exist.
Not surprisingly, I’m getting a lot of pushback in the comments from readers who say that because women — mostly — buy these magazines, *of course* they get explicitly targeted. I want to be realistic. If this is a pure pander, and these magazines are purposefully ignoring dads (or worse, subtly undermining us) to capture women who are looking for a snooty, just-us-moms attitude, then the problem with these mags is actually waaaaaay worse than I’ve made it out to be.
But I think it’s mostly old, bad habits, assuming that parenthood=motherhood, and that panding has little to do with it. Sports Illustrated, no doubt, has a mostly male readership, but that publication rarely addresses its articles to “you guys out there” to pander to their XY-dominant subscriber base. If SI can write about boxing in a gender-neutral way, why can’t Parenting do the same for parenting?
CarolynT
21. Sep, 2007
I would argue that SI, though the stories are written in a gender-neutral way, the advertising is not. Click on their Web site any day, often, and see an array of bikini-clad women/cheerleaders with skirts up and cleavage…cleavaging donning their pages. Most of their pages. They have whole tabs dedicated to it. They know their audience.
SI tried the SI for Women experiment and it failed. Though women might like sports, they weren’t buying the magazine. Likewise, I bet parenting magazines aren’t seeing a lot of market data supporting a huge dad readership. Doesn’t make it right about the mom-centered stories, just makes it reality.
I write a blog at FoxSports.com and when I started, I criticized them for their many misogynistic references throughout the site. While they were writing for their core audience, they were offending their minor one…and I called them on it. It’s better now.
I suggest writing the magazines that offend you. Make a stink. You dads do a great job with the kids. Let em know you’re reading. Or, better yet, toss them some submissions from a dad! You’ve got great writing…they’d be silly not to run it.
Anyway, love your blog. Take it easy.
Abel
21. Sep, 2007
I agree with you, Brian. For dads who read parenting mags, we feel neglected and biased when all articles are talking about motherhood. I am not sure why this happens. Maybe it traces back to past generations where parenting means motherhood. We can’t blame them, men were responsible for hunting then. Not so much on parenting. But hey, now is different. But the prejudice remains.
Dave
21. Sep, 2007
Why can’t we blame them? Isn’t Parenting’s Tag line, “Mom to Mom?” .. Why call the mag Parenting.. call it Mothering.. actually.. isn’t Mothering a magazine that is more open to SAHDs?
The Dad articles in Parenting still have a, “I can’t believe I made it through the day with the kids and didn’t burn down the house” angle..
How about something useful.. like isolation or anger management..
Lots of mags still say things like, “Get Dad to take the kids so you can get a break.”.. what’s wrong with saying, “swap the kids and get a break.”
If we want this to change, the mags are the frontlines.
Rebel Dad
21. Sep, 2007
Carolyn — I think your spot-on description of SI advertising emphasizes the point: even though SI’s bread is buttered by companies that want nothing more than to pump up the tough/cool/hip/young male demographic, the editorial content isn’t unambiguously aimed at those guys.
I hate to think that sports journalism in this country has significantly more editorial backbone than the parenting press …
Seth
21. Sep, 2007
Ahhh, a hot button topic I need to respond to.
I don’t mind targeted magazines. In fact, since magazines are advertiser driven, I would expect it. But what does greatly bother me is that some of them range from sadly lacking any male mention to completely offensive.
For example, one new magazine that is being given out at Gymboree (of which I’m the only regular father that brings the kids) is called Hybrid mom. I wasn’t able to find anything in the articles about fathers but rather it mostly includes stories about anger against husbands for not doing what’s asked or how irritating it can be when your husband actually wants sex. In the first 2 issues I don’t think there’s a single picture of a family that includes a father in it. In fact, I think there’s only about 1 male picture in the whole thing, usually just a headshot of an author. I don’t mind targeted but I think this projects a very skewed view of the family as a whole and does few favors for the readership.
I remember a couple years ago when one of the major parenting magazines ran an article that showed a woman treating her husband the same way as her 3 year old with successful results. I’m liberal to a fault but I found that rather demeaning.
I don’t want equal time in the magazines. I realize that stay at home fathers are a small minority. But I would like to be shown to be a good part of the family rather than the current representation.
Bruce Cantrall
21. Sep, 2007
Nice to see you put our frustrations about parenting magazines into focus. It is a nice update from earlier thread by me about the magazines that you wrote about on Tuesday, April 18, 2006. See you at the convention. http://www.rebeldad.com/2006_04_01_archive.html
WorkingDad
21. Sep, 2007
RD, You know I’ve criticized Parenting Magazines for their mommy bias. But, I think it’s also important to point out that women appear to be the dominant readers of this writing, maybe partly because the material is targeted to them, but there are other reasons. My wife still reads more parenting mags than I do, and I’m paid to do it. I tend to read more research, blogs, etc… My sense and hope is that dad-focused journalism will increase as demand rises because more dads get more involved in parenting. Hey, my paper hired a dude to cover the family beat, so we are making progress.
Rebel Dad
21. Sep, 2007
Paul — What’s curious, though, is that new, online publications (from the hipsters at babble.com to the activists at momsrising.org) have taken great pains to be inclusive. Are those publications misguided? Are they ahead of the times? Are they insulated from bowing (intentionally or otherwise) to the whims of advertisers? Or are they aiming at a difference audience altogether?
Clint
21. Sep, 2007
Oh this is so on my radar screen right now and I am very happy you are posting on this topic, Brian. I’ve been mulling over a posting at my blog for the past couple of weeks about the lack of mainstream Dad magazines in the market and the overwhelming Mommy bias in parent mags. It always feels like such a token attempt whenever I read a Dad article in a parenting magazine.
Surely there must be enough interest in parenting issues from a Dad’s perspective that some mainstream publisher would be able to successfully launch a Dad-centered magazine? But where are they?
Roger Hutchison
21. Sep, 2007
Thanks (one more time) for posting on this.
It’s irrational, but the mom-bias drives me crazy! In today’s mail, we received a copy of “Parenting” magazine. Do you know what their tag line is?
“What Matters to Moms”
To me, that explicitly says “It Doesn’t Matter to Dads”. And they’ve added me to their mailing list (I really don’t know how they got my name) so now we get *two* of these in the mail.
Mine goes straight to the recycling bin.
Another favorite love-to-hate title is “Working Mother”. I would think that moms would be offended by that one. They need a magazine to help cope with work and family life, while dads don’t?
Well, I could continue ranting, but I’ll restrain myself.
Thanks again!
Dave
22. Sep, 2007
The sad fact is that these magazines aren’t really deliverying any kind of helpful information.. they are delivering confirmation that you aren’t a bad mom.. They are just there to say, “It’s OK” to whatever you’re doing or not doing and to sell stuff.
They’ll say that it’s ok to put your kid to sleep on their stomach and then say to always put your kid to sleep on its back.. then sell something designed to keep your kid on their back or get extra time on their tummy.
It’s like telling a mom that their body isn’t poducing enough breast milk.. bulloks.. that’s just a statement to comfort a mom who’s already made a decision.. Why?? because if something in parenthood has already happened then continuing without the guilt is important.
So.. these mags fill the role of an understanding friend.. albeit one who wants you to buy something.. which means they are no friend.
If you’re forcefed one of these magazines.. like at Gymberwhatever.. make a statement.. hand it back and say, “please recycle this.. or put it in your worm bin.”
WorkingDad
24. Sep, 2007
Hey RD, I think Moms Rising and Babble hopefully are a look at the future, though I think Babble needs a healthy dose of editing. Who reads five-screen indulgent essays that make two points? But, the sites/groups are still dominated by moms, and still don’t engage me the way a dad-focused media effort could. I probably wouldn’t read Babble if it wasn’t my job.
Rebel Dad
24. Sep, 2007
WorkingDad: Agree on Babble re: readability and overall naval-gazing. But … I still can’t think of any web or print parenting effort launch in, say, the last five years that has taken the moms-only approach of Parenting et al. I find that disconnect intriguing.